dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
