I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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