I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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