Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
