Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I can't put those talents on a resume
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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