Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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