I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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