Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
