I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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