I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
