It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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