i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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