M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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