i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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