If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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