I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
