Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
