I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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