i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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