Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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