the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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