So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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