Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
