I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
