I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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