im about as happy as oj after his trial
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
