if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
