Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
