singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
