pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
