I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
