I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
