she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
