i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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