but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
