Already got asked if we're dating
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
