i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
you never un-have a 4some
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
