He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
40s are totally the cure
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
