this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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