Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm just crazy horny about you
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
