do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
