the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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