I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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