we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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