Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I believe in your delicious
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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