awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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