White coat. Heels.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
