Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
