just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
