Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
